do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
