How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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