if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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