im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
