never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
