His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
