I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
