If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
