He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
