Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Houston, we have a blender
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
