I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
