i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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