How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
