I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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