Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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