wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
