I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
