it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
