If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
