we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
