for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
