i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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