I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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