road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
