So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
