Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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