I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
