She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
