I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We had to coat check the pizza.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
