I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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