You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
