I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
