I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
