he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
