I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
