Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
