Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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