Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
