If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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