ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
