as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
