It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
