Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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