just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
