Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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