He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
as a side note pls kill me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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