i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize