Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
babies were throwing up all over the place
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
