I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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