Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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