i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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