billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
