3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
