It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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